Friday, March 11, 2011

I Do?

Unfortunately among some, marriage nowadays is looked at as a joke; even to those whom are already married. Though divorce may be at an all time high, people, religiously, are still getting married. Why? I believe because secretly they know they have a way of escape when things turn out unexpected. They know that "divorce" is an option. I'm not at all referencing divorces due to abuse and or/infidelity. By all means that is extremely necessary. What I'm saying is that we divorce for reasons that fall severly short of: till death to us part...for richer or for poorer...through sickness and in health. Do we really mean "I do", when it comes to the vows we profess to one another? Is our word really our bond? We separate over the pettiest of things, when in actuality it is these very issues that can grow an individual. It's sad that we don't take the institution of marriage seriously because quite frankly, by law...we don't have to.

Please note, this isn't at all to condemn those that have gotten divorced, but it is to help those remember that marriage is a commitment. If you aren't ready for marriage, this isnt a crime, but if you are, be ready to go the distance. Marry with the intent of it being forever, not with both of you making sure the "exit" is within view. If we respected the sanctity of marriage as a whole, maybe most wouldn't be so ready to throw in the towel. On the other hand, it is sad when one party wants to work it out, while the other is walking away with their hands up....


Never Put People You Look Up To On Pedastals

 I love to give advice, motivate, and empower others. The advice I give are tools that I, myself, try to implement. As of late, I've noticed the pressure, from others, of maintaining a life consistent of having it all together. Quite frankly, I don't. There will be times that I will mess up, but it isn't about the mistakes, as it is about learning from them. When I fall, I don't wait too long to pick myself right back up (this is key). Without my Creator, I would be lost, and I thank Him for His word and His love which keeps me sane. At the same time, I dont want others to lose hope when you see the ones you look up to, make a mistake, or lose it for a second. We are all works in progress, or at least we all should be.

Never put anyone you look up to on a pedastal, because you will be setting yourself up for disappointment. We are all human, and mistakes will be made despite any individual's status or assumed level of growth. The encouraging factor is that we all created in His image, inbedded with a piece of His nature. We all have gifts inside of us which need to be cultivated. Find out your purpose and run with it!! See you at the top!

Peace & Blessings,


Ahhh....2010, a year I'd like to forget but can't because it brought where I am today...liberated. My word for the year of 2010 was "confidence", something I lacked greatly. My ups and downs, aches and pains of that year clouded the vision of my growth. Though I would wake up daily affirming my day with that "word", it seemed as if I would get hit that much more; collaspsing my hopes, and breaking my spirit. I went through the lowest point of my life that year, something I didnt realize needed to happen for me to finally gain my confidence, later leading me to my liberation. There were strongholds, I had, that I didn't want to admit to myself. There's a part of us (pride) that wants to feel as if we have it all together. Meanwhile we know that we're a mess, but we don't want to show that to the world for fear of appearing "crazzy". I believe that we all are to a But I think that is why God wants us to renew our minds. There's a refining that has to take place once we've been dropped off onto this planet. We weren't born perfected, hence the necessity of us getting ourselves together, as He (the potter) molds us to His designed purpose. There were things I just had to let go, but wasnt ready to. But God is something else! He will align things in such a way where you have no choice but to end up on your knees. And 2010 was that moment. The moment where I had to look to God for help, peace of mind, for His love, and freedom. Freedom from the bondage of....yup..people. Who doesn't want to be liked or accepted? But when that is your focus, you lose sight of who you are; who you were called to be. And I didn't realize how far deep I was, which can lead to low self-esteem. Because of my lack of self-approval, I needed it from others, a lie that renders people captive. And so I embrace my lowest point, because it gave me no choice but to look up. And when you look to God he begins to take the scales off your eyes, so that you can see clear. I once was blind, but now I see. Those words are more real to me than ever before. Do I need approval, to be liked, to be accepted? Sure I do, but it has to come from me. When I accept who I am, I am praising and thanking God for creating me. Now that the scales are off, I am more able to love my husband and children better. Now that I can see, and no longer distracted I was able to find my purpose in life. The enemy (devil) is a cunning dude. He comes not but to kill steal and destroy. I was blinded by lifes woes, along with my insecurities. He looks for your weaknesses and uses it against you. Because he knows that once your mind is renewed and you are focused, your dreams and aspirations will be limitless. He knows that with God, all things are possible for you. My challenge for you today, is to look at the man in the mirror. Come to terms with things in your life that need to be examined, and ask God to show you how to fix them. At times we pray and ask God to take away our problems, excusing the fact that we also have a part to play. Do your part, as God does the rest. Become a better you. Let's start a movement.

Be Blessed

Friday, July 9, 2010

Violent Rising

It's been a minute since I've last shared what's been going on in my world. I cant begin to explain the eventful year I've been experiencing thus far. It has been some  roller coaster ride to say the least, and it aint over yet. I had to go through the thick of it for me to get to where I am "Peace". I've let go of my friend "Depression". I just finally had to call it quits. We got into a big fight. I knew it was our last one...I could sense it. There was something different about this one, I knew it was over. For some reason I have to go through things the hard way for me to actually "get it". And boy did it get ugly. But I needed this, I needed to go through the pain for me to see things clearly and to appreciate what I have...which is a beautiful life. I have a beautiful life! Now I get it! I get what people say to me when they see the family I've been blessed with. My husband, and my beautiful children. And hey, I've realized that I'm not too bad myself. I had to look at myself in the mirror. You know...deeper than the make-up. I had to look deep into my soul and had to come to terms with why I felt depressed. What was the core reason? I was ashamed to admit it, but it was selfishness. Me? Selfish? No way! I tried to deny it, but my spirit wouldn't let me. It was a shock and I just had to do something about it. Now that I'm a mom..I feel so compelled to being the most excellent person to them. They are like sponges and they soak everything I do or say. I have to be the best for them as well to my Creator. Most people would think certainly you cant be "healed" from depression that quick. They would prefer I drug myself daily just to make themselves feel assured. But in my case it took a bad, horrific situation for me to realize I've been swimming in this sea of depression for way too long. Is it worth it? Is it really worth losing my family because "Jacita" is unhappy because of such and such. Life is so much bigger than  little things we think are worth being worried about. When you are at the brink of losing it all, you will begin to see how important life really is, and how the cares of this world are really minuscule. It took that for me to Rise Violently, and enjoy the life God has graciously given me. I've missed out on so much, and now I'm ready to catch up. Who's with me? :)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I am me

Something I struggled to accept was the essence of my very being. From a child, I was forced to grow up fast because I was depended upon. Along the way, I negated the rituals of loving who I was because I was too concerned about pleasing others. If someone wasn't pleased due to my own lack, I blamed myself, eventually planting seeds of hate towards myself. I had begun to dislike who I was. I was a perfectionist, and I didn't know why at the time. But I'd later realize it was because I couldn't accept that fact that we were made flawed. When I would make a mistake, or do something that someone wouldn't approve of, I noticed how it would make a person upset or angry. Hence, leading to my biggest fear, Rejection. I know rejection is an intense word, but being young at the time, I equated someone being mad at , or not liking me as hatred towards me. At times when I was at fault, I would cringe at correction because in the back of my mind I would always wonder if... "This Was It". Will this be the last time this person will accept or like me? And so when I came of age, I began to find other ways to improve the lost cause that I was. I resorted to my exterior. I considered myself an ugly duckling, especially during my childhood years. I wasn't allowed to wear colored nail polish until I was 16, and then make-up until I was 19. I would wear the make-up covering a soul that that didn't feel pretty, no matter how much it was caked on. I couldn't look into those dark brown eyes that would stare at me as I put on my eye liner. I was a total waste of make-up. I didn't want to confront the truth of me being the blame of my unhappiness. Because then I would I have to accept my flaws. Accept the fact that when I make mistakes, that I am here to love myself. I've forgotten about me. For too long I've felt that my personal feelings didn't matter, because if they did, why would people tell me to suck it up, or that I'm too sensitive? Looking at my surroundings, I came to the conclusion that everyone is sensitive, and that everyone is looking out for themselves when it comes to protecting their hearts. Something I failed to do miserably. I'm learning to accept me....flaws and all.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Who Am I (Haiku)

Haiku: Japanese verse written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables

Who am I to me?
Still figuring out to see
Greatness will it be?

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

Where do I begin? As I'm writing this, I am trying so hard to hold back tears. We've lost an icon, a superstar, a global humanitarian, a trend setter, an entertainer, an artist in every sense of the word. He was revolutionary. He was "Bad" He was "Invincible", and listening to his music gave me "Butterflies". He paved the way with his moonwalk for people of color to get their records played on stations where our music wasn't allowed. He was loved literally all over this planet. And even though his words were in English, he would travel the entire world just to "Rock with You". He was my dad's favorite artist of all time. They were the same age. 50 years old. I remember as a kid, my dad blasting Michael's music. Us watching that Thriller video, and having the living daylights scared outta me, then being sent to bed (young parents I tell ya). My dad had all his albums. I remember my twin brother with the red thriller jacket and glove. MJ's voice was captivating, and so soothing. I knew he was too old for me, and so at a young I promised myself I would marry a "Michael" I was just so in love with his music and his name.

Now with his dramatic death, I've been pondering about the purpose of death. Why is it so brutal, so painful, so necessary?
I'm told God only knows. And to live in the moment. God isn't done with me yet. I'm here for a purpose, and in my own way I can leave my mark as well.

Michael you will be missed.
Hope you're still entertaining...wherever you are
God Bless